


Secretly

by BadPandaBear



Category: Original Work
Genre: Amnesia, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Claiming Bites, Do-Over, Dom/sub, Dom/sub Undertones, Dreams, F/M, Family Issues, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Motorcycles, Soulmates, Teen Angst, Violence, Violent Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 07:09:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4426103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadPandaBear/pseuds/BadPandaBear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anna is a smart young woman who knows where she belongs, even if everyone else thinks that's a mistake, one she's willing to make even if it breaks her family apart. </p><p> Everyone knows Christopher is a playboy and likes to sleep around. What they don't know is it's all just a show.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dreams of you

**Author's Note:**

> Iv been a reader and writer of fan fic most of my life but this is my first work to put up. Please be kind *hinds behind pillow*
> 
> Sorry for any tags iv missed and spelling mistakes- that being said my autocorrect likes to change stared into starred so you might run into that a few times I'm sure. 
> 
> The people and events in this story are my own creation with the help of a great friend as my muse. That being said as well, no copy right infringement is intended if something got pasted me. This is purely a work of fiction with some real like inspiration.
> 
> Hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think.

Introduction

 

Way is it I dream of you so much? The way your warm tan skin shines. Your black hair longer then you wear it now. Your chocolate eyes burning into my very soul. Your hard body pressed against mine whenever we could.

 

 

Iv had many dreams of you over the years. So many in fact, Iv lost count but I can still recall them all. The way I can see you and feel you and touch you in my dreams, the way iv wanted to touch you since we were pulled apart. The way I know you'd touch me. Light and careful around others. Hard and demanding when we're alone.

 

This dream from last night doesn't want to leave me and as I always do when I dream about you, I find myself think about the 'what ifs' in life. It's not that I don't like my life now but, we were going to be here together. Washington was going to be our safe place where no one knew us.

 

Last night in my dream, I had come home to visit. I was going someplace I think to see an old friend, I can't really be sure. The outside of the house was different but familiar to me. I don't really remember, I just know that someone important was there. As the car pulled up outside the person in the car said something. I don't even know who was in the car or who the other few people outside the house were. I was opening the car door as they spoke and only caught the last part of what they said.

 

"......is here."

 

My eyes seemed fix on the porch door. The door was opening so slow it felt as though time had all but stopped. I didn't move, couldn't move, couldn't breath. My hope way so high that it came crashing down and knocked the wind out of me when a brunette girl came out of the shadows.

 

I turned back to the car, clutching at my heart. Why was I so disappointed. Who was I expecting that could make me feel this. The only person who had ever made me feel this I knew wouldn't be here. Why was I torturing myself, giving hope where I knew it didn't belong. I took in deep breaths to calm myself down and turned back to the house.

 

My world came crashing down a second time in just as many minutes. The air refused to fill my lungs, my knees became shaky and weak. My vision blurred and the last thing I saw, was you jump off the porch and running towards me. My world went black.

 

I woke up sweating and chucking the blankets to my chest. I cried myself back to sleep.


	2. Last good day

It was our last summer before we went off to collage. We had both been accepted to the University of Washington. Being on the other side of the country, our families worried but they knew we'd watch out for each other. Everyone just assumed that we thought of each other as brother and sister since we had grown up together. No know knew how close we really were and we liked it that way, for the most part that is.

 

We decided to go watch the motocross racers on Saturday night. It would be the last ones before we left and we alway had fun even if we weren't the one racing. Girls flirted with him and he flirted back. I loved watching him like that, in his element, as I called it. He was the hottest guy around and everyone knew it. I thought it funny watching the girls vied for his attention. Some of them even went so far as to rub their breasts along his arm as they spoke to him. I stood quietly by until a mutuel friend of our came up to me.

 

"Hey Killer, how's it going" he greeted me.

 

"You kill a bike one time, man come on, that was like five years ago and I was just learning how to ride."

 

"I know, but I still like teasing you." He gave me a wink. "Chris here to? I shouldn't really even be asking, you to are always together. You're the one he should be dating not them." He looked out over my shoulder.

 

I glanced behind me to see one of trophy girls being even more daring then the rest. She had stepped between his legs and takin his hand in her own and placed them low oh her hips, he was really touching more ass the hip. She wiggled or jiggled agents him as she spoke.

 

"Yea I'm just gonna pass on that." I said smoothly.

 

Trevor just let out a laugh. He was one of the only Moto guys that wasn't pissed he could be beaten by a girl. "You're to good for him anyway," another wink. "Lets see if we can make him jealous!" He wound his arm around my waist and started us towards the pair.

 

Chris looked up from the bleach blond as we made our way over. The blond, a girl who had graduated the year before us, turned to look as well. Her face scrunched up as she looked me up and down. She was dressed in black micro shorts with a Monster logo on the ass, a tight fitted top that stopped right under her bouncy boobs and heels that looked like she was going to break her ankles if she took one wrong step.

 

Christopher and I had taken our bikes instead of his truck. We wanted to get as much time in as we could. So naturally I was dressed in my teal Fly Racing Kinetic jersey and pants. Not so much a show as she was, but I got the impression she was not happy to see me none the less.

 

A smirk came across my face and 'Bitch please,' was said in my head. I knew what Chris liked, an as much as he liked a hot girl in tight cloths and heels, he loved one in race gear, covered in dirt and breathing hard from the adrenalin.

 

Happy to let her make an ass out of herself all on her own, I ignored her as she started to say something stupid but was cut off by Chris standing up straight and her falling back a little. He's hands were clenched in fists at his sides.

 

"Trevor, what do you think your doing?" He voice was steel. He was pissed. I couldn't really believe it at first, he was jealous!

 

"Just making sure Anna is having a good time is all." He was playing with fire and I don't think he know how hot to could get. I'd seen Chris beat a kids ass once just because the other kid wanted a fight and kept goading him on. Chris stopped when the kid said he was done and just walked away, calm an cool, like he hadn't just about put that guy in the hospital. He wasn't even angry when he had done that.

 

But right now? He was starring daggers from Trevor's eyes to his hand on my waist. I pulled out of his grip easily enough and he let me go. Chris still had his hands by his side but as soon as I was free from Trevor he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him. The girl in front of him all but forgotten. She stumbled back and managed to keep herself righted as she whipped around and sulked off, knowing she wasn't going to get anywhere with Chris while he was like this.

 

Chris started to walk away, dragging me along. Trevor did another stupid, in a long line of many that night. He said said something I didn't quite catch but it didn't get passed Chris. He spun around, faster then I knew what was happening, he was right in front of Trevor. Chris was a good six inches taller then Trevor. As he starred down at him, his voice came out calm. " What was that?" This was not good, I thought to myself.

 

Trevor didn't back down, just starred right back. "I said, you should stop playing house and acting like you own her."

 

This was about to go from bad to knock out fast. Chris's hard squared my wrist tighter and I almost cried out from the pain. Instead of standing there watching this get any worse I stepped in between them. My arm twisted behind my back as I kept my front to Trevor and pushed him back with my free hand. "Back off Trevor," my voice had more confidence then me, " you played your game. Now go away before you make it worse."

 

To anyone watching it would have looked like Chris was trying to hold me be or break my arm. And truth be told I really did want to smack the shit out of Trevor and Chris was about to snap my wrist. It wasn't the first time he had my arm this was but it was the first in public. I had put myself in front of him like this, in away only he would understand. It wasn't that I wanted to make a show for everyone else, I just wanted Chris to know I knew where I belonged.

 

His grip still didn't looses as Trevor got the hint I didn't need him to help me and walked away. Still with my arm folded behind my back, he turned us around and walked me to where our bikes were parked behind the grandstand. He put his free arm around my waist and pulled me flush against him, bending his head so he could whisper in my ear, "You're going to pay for that little stunt." His voice was still flat and calm. A shiver ran down my spine. Tomorrow I would have bruises.

 

He let me go and told me to get on my bike and follow him. I did just that. We made our way along back country roads, roads we had grown up on, never getting lost unless we wanted to. He made a turn off the road an onto an over grown trail. Going deep into the woods where nothing could be heard but the sounds of the night. He pulled his bike to a stop and killed the engine. Swinging his long leg over the seat and took off his helmet and gloves. I stopped my bike beside his and removed my helmet and gloves as well. Still straddling my bike, I looked him up and down.

 

He strode towards me with ease. Once at my side his hand came up and fisted in my hair, pulling my head back to expose my neck. A whimper excepted my lips as my mouth parted to say something but it was lost as his own mouth came down to clam me. The kiss was rough, raw and full of need. His other hand came round my waist again and dragged me to his hard chest, pulling me off my bike and into his body. He started kissing a trail over my jaw and down my neck.

 

He pulled back, hand still fisted in my hair. Without so much as a spoken word, he shaved me to my knees and pulled my face against his hard cock, still trapped in his pants. My hands went to his hips, sliding under his shirt to get at his flesh as he rubbed my face against him. My nails bit into the flesh I found, earning me a slight hiss from him and sharp tug on my hair.

 

He pulled my face back to stare up at him. "You pissed me off tonight," cool and calm but laced with promises. "Letting him hold like that. I bet you liked his hands on you, bet you wanted him to take you back to his truck, press you up against it and fuck you." He wasn't talking about Trevor.


	3. Hard Loss

 

*Flashback*

 

It was one of the few times Chris and I chanced being seen. We'd had a hard race, both of us in the top three from the start. I would have won, but the asshole next to me took the last turn to close and caught my back tire, giving Chris the chance to take first and me second. I was so pissed off after, I went looking for a fight, not my type of thing usually but as I said I was pissed off. Chris caught up to me as I was confronting the guy. Turns out he did it on purpose, his excuse being 'a little girl shouldn't be on a race track'. My helmet was still in my hand and I cocked it back getting ready to bring it down over the side of his head, when Chris caught my wrist and juried me back. Pulled me away with him, even with all the noise behind us to come back and try something, he just kept walk. Took me straight to his pickup at the back of the lot and slammed me up against the side.

 

The kiss was a fight of its own, me trying to get my victory back and him taking it all. I dropped my helmet to the ground and my hands went to work opening his pants. He was hard and straining for me to touch him. He ripped my pants down in such a hurry that he tore my clasp apart. (which I told my mom I did when it got stuck and I was to pissed off to wait. I was grounded for three days.) He shoved my pants to my knees and turned me around roughly, bringing my hips back with one hand and shoving my shoulders forward with the other. I grabbed the side of the truck bed and locked my arms so my face would be slammed into it. He shoved into me so hard I almost screamed and the hand holding my shoulders was moved over my mouth. He thrust into me hard and fast, hitting just the right spots. I was over the edge before I really know I was going. I moaned loud, even with his hand over my mouth, I was sure someone was going to come looking.

 

 

He shoved me forward into the side of the truck, my body pinned between the cool metal and hot flesh. "I didn't say you could cum," His warm voice flooded me, I was still riding high on my orgasm and his voice just took me higher. My pussy convulsed on his massive cock, trying to get him to join me. He didn't relent just kept driving home till I was a writhing mess on his cock. Me took me to the edge again, this time joining me. Growling into my hair as he claimed me.

 

*End flashback*

 

I took the chance to speak "I didn't.." My words were cut off with a slap across my cheek.

 

"I didn't say you could talk. God it's like you don't even know me." His words stung me a bit.

 

"Permission to speak, Sir," I waited, he was silent. I kept my mouth shut.

 

"What would you have to say that I should hear?" His words were cold. "Fine, speak. If anything it will just give me a reason to smack you again." He unthreaded his fingers from my hair so that I could look down as I spoke to him.

 

 

I was mad at his by this point. Not because he slapped me, but because his words stung more then his hand. "Before you get to worked up again," I was making to stand, looking him in the eyes as I spoke. "I have something I need to tell you." He was moments away from hitting me again, for being cheeky, and I knew it. But I had something important to say to him and he had to hear me.

 

 

"I have been with you my whole life, iv never given you any reason to punish me that I didn't do on purpose. And what Trevor did wasn't part of my plan tonight but I showed you where I stood as soon as you went back to beat the crap out of him." I was the angry one now. I didn't know way but I had to tell him something and I wasn't really sure where I was going with this."I damn near broke my own wrist submitting to you in public.

 

 

I was going to let you have your little blond trophy, all soft and sweet. And when you were done with her, you'd come back to tell me all about your 'conquest'. About how much you just wanted to make her bleed"

 

 

"You're pushing a fine line Anna," his voice was laced with angry just as mine was. "You need to watch how you talk to me when we're alone, or do I need to remind you?"

 

 

"I am not playing games now Christopher, I don't care about your trophy girls, or about Trevor. What I care about is that you, of all people, would say that I don't know you." I paused to let it sink in. " I know you better then you know yourself sometime. I know that you hate when I'm the one being flirted with. You hate your parents, with good reason, even if no one else understands it but me, And you hate that no one knows I'm yours." The anger is leaving me now and the last is spoken softly. "I know what you are Christopher and I know what drives you, what frightens you. I know what makes it all not look so bleak. I love that it's me who can make you feel things no one else can. Just as you do for me. Your no more a monster for liking the things you do then I am. The only difference being your the one who gives and I'm the one who takes, and we all know how greedy I can be." I think iv made my point to him but I got lost myself. Was I trying to tell him I didn't care about people seeing us together or that I wanted them all to know we were together. Maybe I was trying to tell him none of it mattered as long as he knew I knew who I belonged to.

 

 

*Flashback*

 

 

It had alway been like we were from a different world then the rest of the people around us. We were in our own little bubbleverse, happy to be with just the two of us. Things changed as we got older and our parents made us spend time apart. Time apart meant Christopher went to live with his grandparents for a year. It almost destroyed me then. They said he was going away and didn't know when he would be back. We saw what they were trying to do so. I played nice for them. Made friends with kids down the street and started playing in band in the fall. Christopher started wrestling and football and became a jock.

 

 

Over the year we emailed like crazy though. We made our plan to keep them pacified by keeping up with our extracurricular actives when he came home. It was kind of a shock for them though when I started to get in to motocross even before Christopher. So it was no big deal when he started to ride with me and it gave us an excuse to be together and around other people. Time passed and we found ourselves horny teenagers. With one thing leading to another and another and another.

 

 

The first time he was rough with me was a night that he was staying over since my parents were out of town. I was almost sixteen but I still hated being home alone. He told his parents he was going to spend the night with one of his friend, and I thing he really had meant to but something happened and he'd stopped by to see me and calm down. I didn't know what happened to get him so worked up but when he came in the door he was on me in a flash. The door slamming behind him as he grabbed my arms and pulled we down to the floor right in the foyer. He held he tight and fucked me harder then he ever had. He made me tell him I belonged to him, I didn't hesitate, it was true. I had been and alway would be his, in every sense of the word. I was his to do with as he saw fit. I may be the older by a few months but he was in charge.

 

 

After he had staked his clam and we moved to the living room downstairs, he finally told what had set him off. His friend had decided he was going to try and get in my pants. Thinking that that I was more of a sister to Christopher, he made the mistake of telling him this and ended up with a broken nose. What brother wouldn't defend his sister's honor , no one was the wiser. It was a while before anyone else thought to try date me, let alone anything else.

 

 

*End flashback*

 

 

"I'm still not sure why we are hiding from everyone now. We're eighteen and about to go to college on the other side of the country. In literally less then a week." I sounded pleading.

 

 

"You know why Anna. Everyone, not just our parents, would have a bug up their ass to know what's been going on between us all these year. I just want to give it some time for people to forget. After were out of here for a few years and things have calmed down we can let them know. Tell them it happened when we were away at school." His temper had calmed down and he had started to walk towards me. More gentle then he had in months, he wrapped me in his arms and looked down into my eyes. "I'm sorry about what I said, I know you know be better then anyone and the same is true for me. You know I don't want anyone's hands on you but me and when we get to Seattle, no one else's hands will ever be on you again."

 

 

He kissed my forehead and a tear slid down my cheek. This was the man I loved with every fiber of my being, this was the man I was going to marry and have children with, have a life with, grow old with.

 

He was gentle with me tonight, for our standers anyway. He undressed slowly, taking my shirt over my head then dropping down to his knees and taking off my riding boots. He slid his hands up my legs to my hips, giving them a squeeze before running his hands to the buckle and snaps of my pants. He pulled them down an inch at a time, kissing every part of flesh that was reviled. He placed my hands on his shoulders to steady myself as he took my legs out. Even kissing the top of each of my feet.

 

 

He stood up again, my hands still on his shoulders. He leaned in to kiss my full lips, deepening the kiss as I moaned for him. His hands trailing down my arms to reach behind me and unhook my bra, he let it fall to the ground between us and his hands started their path lower along the curves of my body. He squeezed my hips again but didn't stop going lower to cup my ass in his wide hands. He lifted me up like I was a feather. My legs going around his waist. He backed us up against a tree. The bark digging into me. His hand found the sides of my panties and tore them away. Left mangled in the woods. He lifted me higher up his chest s he could undo his pants and brought me back down on his hard cock. Driving home in one thrust. The bite of the bark on my back and his warm body filled me up. I was emotionally exhausted and this was my salvation. He pumped into me with long drawn out thrust. My nails digging into his shoulders. He quickened his speed as my pants and moans came faster.

 

 

"Come for me Anna, show me how much you want me, need me. How much you love me."

 

 

I was over the edge wreathing on his shaft, my world was him. Nothing else mattered. "I love you Christopher!" And he was coming inside me.

 

 

"I love you Anna!" It was the first time we had said it out load to each other. We both knew but there was something in that moment that just made it so important to say it.

 

 

Later, not much later, I would find out how right I was.

 

 


	4. Love the one you're with

A drunk driver was joyriding on the back roads. Christopher was ahead of me about 5 feet. The truck swerved in front of us. catching on the loose gravel and going out of control. Christopher severed to the opposite side of the road to get out of the way. As he glanced back at me the truck switch direction heading right for him. 

 

I slammed on my breaks and took my bike down on its side. I was still on the road but the truck was in the ditch on the other side of me. I shoved at my bike to get out from under it and white hot pain shot up my left side. I ignored it as I run towards the truck flinging my helmet off looking frantically for Christopher. I finally saw his bike at the front of the truck but he wasn't there. I went to the cab of the truck to find the driver and a flash light. The driver was passed out over the seat but I saw his phone on the floor boards. Knowing my phone was smashed I grabbed his and dialed 911.

 

"There's been an accident out on State road 64, were about 2 miles from the highway. Please spend someone! I can't find Christopher!" My panic was raising again as the dispatcher told me someone was on there way. She tried to ask me questions but the only thing I was thinking about was Christopher. Where was he? I looked under the truck as best I could and didn't see anything. For a moment I was relived and managed to tell her, " a truck ran off the road and Christopher was hit by it. His bike in front of it but I can't find him. I can't see under the truck but I don't think he's down there!"

 

Again panic was coming but the dispatcher managed to keep me talking this time. "We're were just together, and now he's gone!" I could hear the faint sounds of police cars coming as I was looking out over the field. By some luck I saw Christopher laying on the ground, he wasn't moving. Still with the phone pressed to my ear I ran other to him. 

 

He's helmet was cracked but that looked like the only damage, from my quick assessment. I bent down over him and and my heart stopped. He wasn't breathing. I yelled it in the phone, yelled for someone to help us. The woman on the other end told me not to move him or take his helmet off. The only thing she told me to do were chest compressions. I sat the phone down on the ground and began to push as hard and fast as I could. The ambulance was the first one there but I couldn't stop to get them so I yelled. One of the men came running towards me with a bag. I kept pushing until a police officer had to drag me off so the paramedic could cut Christopher's shirt open and shock his chest. The paramedic had already put a brace around his neck and removed his helmet while I was trying to keep his blood circulating. He was breathing for him, when they shocked him, his entire body jumped. When the paramedic shocked for a pulse this time it was there. Relief washed over me as they loaded him on a board and carried him to the ambulance. When I stood to go with them pain shot up my side again. I cried out and the officer had to catch me so I didn't fall back over. He helped me run to the ambulance as they loaded Christopher in and helped me get seated. The driver took off and we're at the hospital in under 10 minutes but it felt like an entreaty. Christopher had crashed once in the ambulance.

 

As they worked to get him back I sank to my knees next to him and talked to him." You can't leave me! You have to come with me to Washington, everyone has to know I'm yours! If you die I die and I'm not ready to give up my life with you." His heart started again and mine just about stopped. "You're the only person in this world that means anything to me Christopher. Stay with me always." We were at the hospital now and they were unloading him. They took him back to a room I wasn't aloud to go in and life went black around me.

 

When I woke up I was in a hospital bed and my leg was in a cast. I was hooked up to machines and my parents were sitting beside me, holding my hand. When they saw I was away they started crying harder. There was only one person on my mind. " Where's Christopher?" My voice was filled with dread. Did I really want to hear this? He was still breathing and had a heart beat when they took him from me. If he didn't know then neither would I.

 

My father was the one to speak, his head was low but he kept eye contact with me. "Anna, he was hurt really bad," my eyes began to water, " he had bleeding in his brain," my tears fell down my cheeks, "They took him into surgery as soon as you both got here," I couldn't breath, "he was taken to the ICU after." My tears were from relief now as I sobbed. My father spoke again. "Do you remember what happened?"

 

I told him and my mother about the the truck and finding Christopher in the field. Christopher going in arrest in the ambulance and then everything going black once he was taken away.

 

"Honey," my mom said, she voice almost cracking, "That was 3 days ago. We've been by your side this whole time, the doctors didn't know why you hidden woken up yet. You have a broken ankle and your leg was fractured pretty badly, two of your ribs are also fractured, and your covered in cuts and bruises. But other then that there's nothing wrong with you. They didn't know why you wouldn't wake up." She was crying now.

 

"If that was three days ago then where is Christopher now?" I was getting angry with them, they weren't tell me what I needed to know.

 

"He's still in the ICU and still in a coma last we heard." He didn't seem to like that I was asking about him.

 

"Why are you getting mad at me?" I asked defensively. There should be no reason for it. I was in a hospital bed with my leg in traction and all I was asking about was, as far as they were concerned, my friend. 

 

"We spoke with the EMTs about your ride in," my mother had stopped crying but she still sounded sad and far away. "They told us how the didn't know how you made it a hundred yards out in a field on a shattered ankle without passing out and how you didn't even seem to know you were hurt until Christopher was being taken away. The officer helping you to the ambulance and then getting here and walking another two hundred yards before you finally blacked out. 

 

I forced myself to calm down before I shouted at them, then I thought ' well hell the cats out of the bag anyway, why not just come clean?' "Are you trying to ask me something?" 

 

My fathers tone was hard, "Do you and that boy have more of a relationship going on then your letting everyone else know?"

 

"I'm nineteen, iv never been with anyone," pause, "that you know of." My fathers eyes twitched. "Why, after everything you've done already, are you still so intent on keeping us apart?"

 

"And how do you not see, with everything that's happened to you, how bad he is. Fine, I'm don't trying to help you. If you're such adult then you can find out how bad he is for you yourself."

 

A bark of a laugh came out of me and my ribs burned. I reviled in the pain thinking about Christopher an wishing he could have heard that but knew it would probably just hurt him to finally hear someone say he wasn't good enough to for me. They had no idea. 

 

I wanted to bite back at them and tell them everything but I held my tongue for the most part and just simply stated "We've been together longer then anyone of you knows. We love each other and we're going to be together with or without you permission."

 

My father looked like he was the one who should be in the bed, I had cut him and not I rubbed salt n the wounds. " If that's the way you feel then," he told a deep breath to steal himself, "your not my daughter anymore." He turned and walked out of the room without a backwards glance.

 

Surprisingly that didn't hurt. My mother was at my side and trying to speak rationally but I didn't hear her. Again all I was thinking about was Christopher. "I want to know how he is, I want to know if Christopher is awake yet." My voice flat, my mother fell silent. She nodded at me and stood to leave the room.

 

Christopher hadn't woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the next three chapters ready but have to get them over over from my documents. Please let me know if you want more.


	5. Eye see you

I was released from the hospital and two more days of test and making sure leg was fine in just the cast. Over the next few days my mom called the school and told them about the accident and arranged for me to start in the winter after I had my cast remover. At first I told her I wasn't going until Christopher was. She fell quite and the argument was dropped. 

 

Christopher was moved from the ICU but was unconscious. No one knew anything, no one told me anything except his body needed time. I was by his side every moment I could be. My mom found out quick that if she refused to take me I'd just call a cab. Worried I'd hurt myself, she finally agree to take me when I wanted. I started my days with physical therapy then going to sit by Christopher's side. I read him books we loved and told him about my father. Told him we didn't have to hind anymore. 

 

I was laying with him on the bed. I took a chance and read him one of my, as he'd call them, smutty books. The door was closed and I held his hand with the lights down low. My thumb stroked over the back of is hand. I faltered in my reading when his hand became tight around my fingers. My turquoise eyes shot up and starred into his chocolate ones.

 

He was awake and before I know what I was doing I leaned into kiss him. He hesitated for a moment then his hand went to the back of my head pulling me closer. It had been so long and I missed him so much, I moaned into the kiss. His other hand wound under me and pulled my body on top of him. He started trailing kiss over my jaw.

 

"Christopher," I was panting from the rough his and his hands rubbing over my negated skin. "We should stop," I didn't believe my own word but I didn't want him to hurt himself.

 

"No." His voice was horse from the weeks of not being used. He pressed me harder to him and I could feel his raging cock against my thigh.

 

"Christopher we have to stop. You've been in the hospital an a coma for almost three months. The doctors didn't know if you were going to ever wake up." I pressed my face to the side of his head. "Do you remember what happened?" 

 

"No." 

 

"A drunk driver. He hit you on your bike." 

 

"I mean I don't remember anything." I pushed away from him and looked in his eyes again. "I know my name must be Christopher since you keep saying it, and that I want you with every thing I am." The door to the room burst open, "GET OUT!" Christopher yell from my neck. 

 

The nurse shouted for more people to come and they pulled me out of his arms. He was fighting against the IVs and cords, trying to tear the off so he could get me back. On of the doctors that came in had a syringe in his hand. He told the nurses to let me and I ran back to Christopher's arms. He took the moment to stick the needle into Christopher's thigh. He didn't flinch, just held me close to him and slowly laid back down.

 

When he was back asleep his grip stayed tight around me. Again the nurses had to pry me out of his arms and this time out of the room. They had to give me sedative to stop fighting them. I woke in another hospital room with me arms and legs cuffed down.

 

My mother sat in the chair hands covering her face as she cried. "What's going on? Why am I tied down?" I was still groggy.

 

She looked up at me with tears still coming down her face, "The doctors had to strap you down so you would stop trying to get up. You kept fighting with them and saying you had to be with Chris." 

 

Christopher, he had woken up. "How is he? Is he still awake?" I worry came through my voice.

 

"He's fine now. They had to restrain him also but he broke the straps when he woke up and they had to put him under again but he's calmed down now." Mother looked like she didn't want to something, I could see her hesitation and it wasn't make me happy.

 

"What else?"

 

She let out a long breath before she began, never something I liked from my mother, it always meant I wasn't going to be happy to hear this. "The doctors want you to stay way from Chris's room for a few days. It seems every time your even mentioned In front of him he get aggressive." 

 

I was right, I didn't like what she or anyone else wanted me to do. But I did it anyway to help Christopher and that was the only reason that mattered. 

 

The rest of the week went without hearing anything from anyone about what was going on. On the Tuesday that followed I went to the hospital for my physical therapy. Afterwards I silently walked the halls of the hospital. They had moved Chris to a new room and when I asked where all I got was a shy look downward and 'unless you're family I'm not allowed to say' what the hell was that? These people know me, I'd spent the last three months by his side. The only time his parents ever came was when a doctor needed them to. I was his family.

 

I found myself wondering down to the psych ward. I had a standing appointment with one of the doctors, but he usually came to find me in Christopher's room and we'd talk there. I needed someone to talk to me, to tell me what was going on. Why I wasn't being allowed to see him. 

 

I was right on time. I sat down on an old couch and started to tell him what I felt and ask my questions. He explained to me that Christopher had full retrograde amnesia and that he didn't remember anything from before the accent to the time we woke up. He explained that he was having trouble getting Christopher to understand this and he was prone to violent out bust.

 

"Please! You have to let me see him! I can help, I know I can. If you'd all just let me see him you'd understand." I was close to tears again. 

 

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea, he has acted out against everyone that he's once known. Even his parents and yours." This was news, my father wasn't talking to me but my mother hadn't said anything about coming to the hospital.

 

"Please let me try. All you have to do is let us see each other. How hard could that been?"

 

"Alright, but if he starts to act out then you'll have to leave."


	6. Room for two

Dr. Fenton lead me down the hall to the secured wing. When we were buzzed in he had me check everything into a small box."The necklaces to, dear. They could be used to," he made a chocking motion. 

 

These were very important to me, and Christopher. I hadn't taken mine off since it was giver to me of my sixteenth birthday. It was a secret gift and I had to tell my parents I got it with the birthday money from my grandparents.

 

The other was the one I had given Christopher for his birthday. When asked about it he told them some girl at school had given it to him, not far from the truth. The hospital had taken it off him and it was in the bag with the rest of his bloody belongings. 

 

"Dr.Fenton, this one is his. He's had it with him for the last three years. Do you think it could help him to see it?"

 

"It might," he paused like he was thinking something over, "Alright you can keep them on but tuck them in."

 

After we were checked in Dr.Fenton led me down to a hall with heavy steal door with thin windows running half the length of the them. We finally stopped at the end of the hall. I could see Christopher through the small window. He was dressed in white pants and a white t-shirt. sitting on a small bed with his legs pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around them. He seems to be lost in thought as he starred out the window on the opposite wall. My heart was trying to beat out of my chest.

 

Dr. Fenton gave a slight knock on the door before he opened it. "Christopher, there's someone here you might like to meet." Christopher turned his head to us and for a moment it was like he know me. Then confusion and intrigue washed over his face. Dr. Fenton let me into the room but stopped me from going to far from the door.

 

"He won't hurt me, will you?" I was looking deep in his eyes. 

 

"Yes I will, I hurt everyone that comes to see me." He was sad and it broke my heart. I took another step closer to him, my hand held out. "Don't," I dropped my hand and took a step to the side.

 

"May I look out the window?" Dr. Fenton was the one to answer but it was Christopher I had been asking, he nod to me and I made small steps to stand and look out. "Dr. Fenton do you think you could turn around?" I was still looking out the window.

 

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

 

"Please, turn around Dr. Fenton. He doesn't like it when people see us." I knew Dr. Fenton was confused but he was curious also and that curiosity won out. I didn't know if this was going to work but I had to try.

 

The bed gave a squeak as Christopher stood up. He was at my side in three long strides. "You... I know you, but I can't remember how. I just fell like I do. With everyone else they bring I just get want to yell and hit and make them all leave."

 

"You can't hurt me Christopher," I was looking at his reflection in the window. He's was starring at my neck.

 

"How do you know that?"

 

A smile came to me lips as I thought about all we had been through. "I'm greedy, Sir." It was a whisper just for him. He pressed himself into my back and brought his hands around me, trapping my arms in front of me and bringing a hand to my neck. He tightened his grip for a moment then relaxed and rubbed my neck with his finger tips.

 

He caught the necklaces on one finger and brought the out of there safe spot between my breast. "I know that this something to me, no, to us, but I can't place it. Tell me. Who are you to me? Why do I know that you know me better then anyone. That I should know you the same way?"

 

"Because we do. We've been together since before we were born." His hand came back down over my neck, I took a sharp intake of air. 

 

Dr. Fenton made the mistake of turning around then, "Christopher," his voice was calm but laced with worry, " I think you should let Anna go and come sit down."

 

"No" he berried his face in the crook of my neck, opening his mouth, bit down hard. I could fell my skin break under his teeth. I let a pained moan escape me which made him bite harder. He brought mouth up slowly, licking at the wound. We were lost to each other. 

 

Dr. Fenton had moved behind Christopher and when he say that he had taken his teeth off me he shoved a syringe into his arm. Christopher just held me tight to him as he the medicine took hold. When he started to drift Dr. Fenton grabbed hold of his so he would fall. 

 

When his arms finally fell from me he laid him down on the flood. The front of Christopher's white shirt was stained red with me blood. Dr. Fenton looked up at me. I was still starring out the window with my arms holding me, the ache in my neck nothing compared to the one in my heart. 

 

Dr. Fenton led me out of the room and down to have my neck looked at. The doctors wanted to stitch it closed so the scar would be as bad. I told them just to clean it and leave me alone. I knew what was coming next.

 

They refused to let me see him again. They made me leave for school. On the other side of the country. I was numb. My father still refused to talk to me. My mother refused to tell me anything about Christopher. Four years went by.


	7. Here and now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something I just realized is I forgot to give credit for this story. 
> 
> If you haven't heard secretly by skunk anansie you should do check it out. Great song.

My life, if that's even what it could be called, when on. Classes, work, home. No social life and not much interaction with people other then at work. I didn't mine. Most of the people I knew had stopped talking to me years ago.

 

So it was unusual that an old friend email me. Curious as to why someone I'd hadn't seen or spoke to in years would message me I opened the email and started to read. She was rambling on about high school crap and about things she had been doing. I was about to trash the thing when one line caught me by surprise. 'I can't imagine not being able to remember my life. It sucks that Chris still doesn't remember but at least they let him out of the hospital. Have you seen him yet? I bet you have, he's been out for like 6 months and you two were joined at the hip, but I hadn't heard about you coming back in town. Come to think of it, I haven't heard about you coming home since you went to college.'

 

She was right. I hadn't been home since I left. I found an apartment by my first summer and gotten a job working at a book store. The owner was nice and when summer was over, worked with me so I could keep working and going to school. My mother would ask me to come home for breaks and beg me to make it for Christmas. I'd tell her I was busy with projects and work.

 

Christmas was only a few days away. After thinking about it a few minutes I realized that she hadn't said anything to me about coming home this time. Putting two and two together I got the idea she didn't want me home now that I could see Christopher. 

 

It only took me a minute to decide that I was going back. But I wasn't going to let them know incase they tried to stop me. I booked my flight and packed a backpack with the a couple changes of cloths and my toiletries. I called into work and asked if I could have a few days off, since I hadn't taken anytime off since I started my boss just laughed and said it was about time I did. I called I cab to pick me up. 

 

Changing into a nice pair of Jeans and green long sleeved shit, I fixed my hair into braid and pulled on my boots, jacket and scarf, tossed my hat in my bag. Slinging my pack over my shoulder and grabbing my purse, I took one last look around the apartment. Stopping in my room to grab small black box before placing it safe in my purse. As I was locking up my door the cab honked.

 

The plain was taxing to the terminal and I was frozen with fear. I didn't notice the other passengers getting up and off the plain till one of the attendants tapped me oh the shoulder. I grabbed my things and made my way to get a cab. Even after 8 house of travel I still hadn't thought this far ahead.

 

I couldn't just go to my parents. They would know why I was home and would stop me. Could I go to his parents? They were just as determined as mine so probably not. But I didn't know where he was or how else to find him. I told the cabby to drop me off downtown. 

 

As we drove I looked out and felt like it had been forever since I'd been home. Nothing had changed really but it felt like a different place.

 

"Sorry Hun," the cabby brought me out of my thoughts. " it looks like they have the street closed off the festival." 

 

"Oh, this is fine then." He pulled over and I paid with a nice tip for the holidays. Placing my backpack on I made my way downtown. I'd forgotten about the Christmas festival. I blended into the crowed. I pulling my hair out of the braid to frame my face and pulled my hat over my head. 

 

I walked around looking at everything, the smells almost bring tears to my eyes with the memories they brought back. My stomach grumbled. I decided on getting our favorite, souvlaki. Juicy meat on little wooden sticks.

 

I made my way through the crowds to the stand. The line wasn't to long. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and just starred at it, what was I going to do? I could email my friend and see if she knew where he was. But that seemed like it wouldn't be right, like I'd be giving myself away.

 

As I stood there looking down at my phone the line in front of me moved, the person behind me tapped me to bring me back to the world around me. I took the few steps forward and turned around to thank them. "Thank you, iv not been myself lately. Your the second person in the past few hours to have to do that." I smiled at the man now in front of me. 

 

"It's ok, this time of year seems to have a lot of people in there heads." His smile was warm as he spoke. He was handsome with dark blond hair and blue eyes. "So, are you here alone?" The look on my face must have said that was a little forward. "I'm sorry. I promise I'm not a murderer or anything I'm just curios. It's not everyday you get a cute meet." 

 

That made me laugh. I wasn't expecting him to keep up conversation but it seemed to come easy to him. "Here let's start over, I'm Drew." And offered him hand.

 

"Anna" we shook hands and he kept talking.

 

"Nice to meet you. I'm here with a couple friend. If you'd like you can come hang out with us." It was a tempting offer and since I was alone and didn't really know where to start looking for Christopher this might be away to get some information without being to open about it.

 

"Sure."

 

"Sweet, so do you live around here?" The line had moved again, I was up next.

 

"My parents do. I'm going to school on the West Coast and have been living there for the past few years." I placed my order and went to pay.

 

"Oh, let me pay. It's the least I can do since I keep pestering you." He placed his order and we stepped to the pick up window. "College of the West Coast, that sounds fun. What are you studying?" 

 

"My major is in biological and ecological sciences."

 

"Wow, that sounds impressive. What are you wanting to do when you graduate?"

 

"Move over seas and never look back." Wow that was deep, I didn't mean to tell that to him. "Sorry, I just, there's so much work that can be done to help other country's and I feel that I have something to offer." Nice save, smart one. I chastised myself. Well I did just give myself an opening so it worked "That's acutely why I'm back here, I'm graduating this year and right after I'll be leaving the states."

 

Our food had come and we were making our way back to his friends. "Well it sounds like you know what you want to do and that's good. I wish I could decide what I should do but I can't seem to plane my next week let alone 5 years." 

 

"It's not so hard if you just think about that and nothing much else. I guess that's how I got it done anyway. Anyway I'm here to see some old friends before I'm gone, I don't know when or even if I'll be back here again." Wow deep again but this one can be forgiven I think. "I'm actually looking for someone tonight."

 

"Well iv only lived here for about a year but I can try an help. Iv made a lot of friend and with the people you know and I know I'm sure we could ask around."

 

"Thank you but I don't think anyone will remember me all to much, I wasn't very popular but the guy I'm looking for was so it might work."

 

"Oh, so it's a guy your looking for? First crush or something, want to finally let him know how you felt, leave with no regrets." He wasn't intending to be condescending I think. More like he know how I felt someway. "Ok well my friends are over my the Ferris wheel. What can you tell me about this guy?"

 

"Well his names Chris and he's about 6' tall with black hair. It's been four years since the last time I saw him. He used to race motocross but I think he stopped."

 

"Does he have a scar on his chest?"

 

I looked up at Drew thinking I'd heard him wrong. Chris had a scar almost the full length oh his chest. "How'd you know that? 

 

Instead of answering me he greeting his friends. "Hey guys come get your food." He yelled. I looked where he was looking and a group of 5 men made there way towards us laughing. I knew them all from racing and knew they knew me but there on the far end was Christopher. 

 

I don't know what came over me but I spun around so they couldn't see my face. Drew looked down at me with a sad smile. " From what iv heard he was in an accident a few years back and doesn't remember anything from before. I'm sorry but maybe it's a good thing. You should talk to him, he like pretty girls." 

 

"You don't know the half of it. I know everyone of those guys. And I haven't been completely honest with you, I wasn't very popular, with the girls, but I raced motocross with Christopher and everyone of those guys knows me." 

 

The group of friends reached us then and slowly I turned around to see them. I heard a bunch of 'oh shit' s and 'no freaking way' from the guys. I looked at them all and stopped at Chris. He was quite and starring. The rest of the group made there way around me to give me hugs and kisses on the cheek. 

 

Even if he still didn't know me I could see he didn't like these people touching me. I managed to push them all off after a minute. They backed up to let Chris see me.

 

Owen, one was the one to speak. "So we send Drew to get snacks and he comes back with a present! Anna we thought you died over in Washington. No ones heard anything about you in years." 

 

I finally made myself talk, "Yea, sorry. You know, everything just got crazy with school." I didn't look away from Christopher and he didn't look away from me. Sam noticed and asked the million dollar question.

 

"Hey Chris, you remember Anna? You two were like inseparable back when we were kids."

 

He finally spoke, his voice confused, "I remember you coming to see me at the hospital once. I think some crazy stuff happened, don't know it was probably just a dream."

 

"I did come to see you once, and it wasn't really that crazy. Not for us at least." My face was blushing. "Dr. Fenton just didn't understand and then they wouldn't let me come back."

 

Christopher had made his was to stand in front of me. Slowly he lifted his arm and pulled back my scarf. When he didn't see anything he looked almost sad.

 

"It's on the other side." I told him as I pulled my scarf scarf off so he could see the scar he left me with. I was t ashamed of it. It wasn't ugly or gashed. It was a perfect impression of his clam on me. 

 

The rest of the guys just starred at the two of us. At the mark on the neck. No one said anything for awhile until Drew piped up with "Is it just me or did we miss something." 

 

I was tired of all the hiding. It had been the four years Christopher wanted to wait, even if he didn't know it, and I was ready for everyone to know. Saying it more for Chris then the others I began, "You and I are something special. When we were little we didn't know what but then you were taken away and we didn't see each other for a year. When they let you come back we knew we couldn't let them know or they'd never let us be together again. We kept us hidden from everyone. You dated and messed around with girls to help them think nothing of us. I joined clubs and motocross to make it seem I had a life. No one was the wiser."

 

He was starring into my very soul. "Oh my sixteenth birthday you gave me something iv never takes off and on yours I did the same. The doctors had to remove it but I kept it safe, I wanted to give it back to you that day in the hospital but things didn't work out. I'd like you to have it now." 

 

I reached into my bad and brought out the small black velvet box I'd put his necklace into that night. I'd worn it with mine everyday. I'd hoped I'd get to give it back to him when I saw his this time. 

 

When he opened the box it seemed like lighting had stuck him. He went stif and stood up straight, looking at the pice of me in the box. "We need to talk." His voice was cold and sent a shiver through my body like I'd just fallen into a frozen lake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have most of the next chapter down and I think I have one more maybe two chapters left for this story.
> 
> Please let me know what you think.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is mostly compleat and I will be adding the other chapter shortly.


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